Golf

Surviving the VA: A Veteran’s Story

My name is Golf.  I grew up in Michigan. I did well in school, played sports, and tried college for a year before going to work. I didn’t want to wait to be drafted, so I asked the draft board to move me up. A month later, I was in the Army.

I trained at Fort Knox and Fort Carson and was sent to Vietnam with the 101st Airborne in 1969. I flew as a door gunner on Huey helicopters. That meant flying into hot zones, taking fire, and firing back. I saw the enemy shooting at us, and I shot back. More than once, our helicopter was hit. One round tore through the aircraft and opened a hole near my foot. I knew how close I was to dying. During that year, we were under rockets, mortars, and ground fire constantly. Friends were killed. Aircraft were shot down. I helped recover bodies. I watched helicopters explode, and soldiers jump from falling aircraft. Those images never left me.

When I came home, I wasn’t the same. I couldn’t sleep. I was anxious, angry, and on edge all the time. I drank to shut my head off. I tried different jobs, but I couldn’t stay steady. I lost relationships. I felt ashamed that I couldn’t hold things together. For decades, I lived like that. I went to the VA looking for help. I knew I needed to see a psychiatrist, someone who could actually evaluate and treat what I was dealing with. The VA told me they had scheduled me for psychiatric care. I trusted that. It wasn’t true.

After talking with Mike Coonan, LMSW ACSW BCD, I learned to ask the right questions. That’s when I found out the person the VA sent me to was not a psychiatrist at all. They couldn’t diagnose me or treat me. They never should have been presented that way. I had been diverted by a gatekeeper. If I hadn’t checked if I hadn’t pushed back, I would not be treated by a psychiatrist.  I would have walked away again without real care, thinking I’d failed somehow. I didn’t fail. I was misled.

I’m still living with the effects of Vietnam: severe insomnia, anxiety, panic, depression, poor concentration, and isolation. I need reminders just to get through the day. Alcohol has been my way of coping, even though I know it’s hurting me. I’m telling you this because it matters. I went to the VA asking for psychiatric care. No veteran should have to figure that out on their own. I am a member of the group, We Are On Point 4 Veterans.

Mental Health/ Military History Psychosocial Assessment was written by Mike Coonan, LMSW, ACSW, BCD. 

His treating VA psychiatrist provided the Expert Medical Opinion. 

Both were prepared and completed at no cost to the veteran.

Both made a significant impact on his VA Disability Compensation Evaluation and Decision.