Foxtrot
Surviving the VA: A Veteran’s Story
My name is Foxtrot. I began working with Mike Coonan, LMSW, ACSW, BCD, because the VA turned me away. He brought my wife into the process. This is my story
I grew up in Michigan in a steady, working family. I had a good childhood, played sports, worked after school, and did what was expected of me. After high school, I joined the Army. I trained at Fort Knox and Fort Ord, then Fort Gordon. I was deployed to Vietnam at the end of 1967. I served with a signal battalion attached to the 1st Air Cavalry, and later with the 586th Signal Corps. I arrived just as the Tet Offensive began. Vietnam hit hard and fast. Then I became a rifleman defending our base. We were under constant fire, rockets, mortars, and artillery. Some days it felt like one barrage after another, sometimes more than a hundred rounds in a day. During Tet, our position was overrun. The perimeter was breached. Helicopters were blown up. The enemy sets ambushes for anyone trying to secure the area.
In one fight, I crawled across open ground under fire and set up a position by myself. I held that spot for hours, stopping the enemy from ambushing other American soldiers until air support finally arrived. Afterward, we retook the area. I still remember the bodies. That stays with you. I saw a mess hall destroyed by rockets and a soldier blown clear through a wall. I helped respond to a helicopter crash when a flying crane lost power, and soldiers jumped from it dozens of feet in the air. I was part of recovering them. This wasn’t occasional. This was daily life.
I extended my tour and stayed in Vietnam until 1970. I was under fire almost every day and lived with the constant awareness that I might not make it back. I left the Army as an E-5, but I didn’t leave the war behind. When I came home, I drank too much and kept most things to myself. I was depressed, anxious, and always on edge. Sleep never came easily. If things got quiet, my mind went straight back to Vietnam. I worked and stayed busy. I spent decades with Michigan Bell climbing poles, splicing lines, working fiber, hard physical work that kept my head occupied. I raised a family.
I stopped drinking in 1990 when my health started to fail. From the outside, it probably looked like I was doing fine. Inside, I wasn’t. I’ve lived for years with poor sleep, racing thoughts, anger that flares quickly, and a startle response that never shuts off. I avoid crowds and keep to myself. I stay busy because if I don’t, the memories take over. I’ve been on medication for a long time, but no one ever sat down and walked through my combat experiences or how they shaped my life.
For all those years, I had never been evaluated by a VA psychiatrist. It wasn’t until I was evaluated by Mike Coonan, LMSW ACSW, BCD, that my full history was finally documented, and he formally referred me for psychiatric care. When I tried to follow through with the VA referral, I ran into a gatekeeper who diverted me to an appointment that was described as psychiatric, but it wasn’t. The provider I was sent to was not a psychiatrist and could not provide the evaluation or the medication treatment I needed. I needed help getting past that barrier. Without support, I would have been turned away again.
I was exposed to Agent Orange. I developed heart disease and had triple bypass surgery. I live with tinnitus. I wake up exhausted most days. My sleep is broken. My focus and concentration aren’t what they used to be. I get frustrated easily and struggle to relax. I didn’t talk about Vietnam because it felt easier not to. I didn’t want to burden my family. I didn’t think anyone wanted to hear it anyway. But these things didn’t fade with time. I’m telling my story because this is what PTSD can look like when a man spends a lifetime working, raising a family, and staying quiet, while the war keeps running in the background. I survived Vietnam. I’ve been living with it ever since. With Mike’s help, I completed the VA compensation process and was awarded 100% disability. I am a member of the group, We Are On Point 4 Veterans.
Mental Health/ Military History Psychosocial Assessment was written by Mike Coonan, LMSW, ACSW, BCD.
His treating VA psychiatrist provided the Expert Medical Opinion.
Both were prepared and completed at no cost to the veteran.
Both made a significant impact on his VA Disability Compensation Evaluation and Decision.
