Echo

Surviving the VA: A Veteran’s Story

My name is Echo. I grew up in New Jersey. Home was not always safe when I was young, and school became the place where I found stability and hope. I worked hard, graduated early with honors, and believed that discipline and service could give me a better future. I joined the Army in 1986 because I wanted purpose and structure. I completed basic training and administrative school with high marks, even after a serious medical setback during training. I was proud of myself. For the first time, I felt seen for my effort and potential. I was stationed at Fort Stewart and later in Hawaii. I married another soldier and continued to do well in my career. When I became pregnant, I made the difficult decision to leave active duty so my husband and I could face that together. Even then, I stayed connected through the reserves because serving mattered to me.

When my reserve unit was activated for Desert Storm, I deployed to Saudi Arabia. I worked in a chemical decontamination unit, driving inspectors to contaminated sites near burn pits, oil fires, and minefields. We worked in protective gear and in dangerous conditions. I was young, but I carried real responsibility and made decisions that mattered. At one point, my team, made up entirely of women, was left alone in an isolated, high-risk location with no immediate backup. A suspicious, uninvited vehicle approached our building and began circling it. The men inside were unknown and appeared armed. We were exposed and vulnerable. I recognized the threat and took command, ordering my team to secure the building and prepare to defend it. In that moment, I understood the reality of combat leadership, that if the situation escalated, I might have to give an order that could cost lives. We held our position until the threat passed. That experience stayed with me. It taught me how real the danger was and how alone we were.

I was 23 years old when I was raped by an officer while performing my assigned duties. I was terrified and alone. I was in the same battalion as the man who assaulted me and feared for my safety every day. I was also afraid I would not be believed, afraid of losing my career, and afraid of what turned out to be a pregnancy meant for my marriage and my faith. I stayed silent and carried it by myself. That silence followed me home.

For many years after my discharge, I struggled with panic attacks, nightmares, poor sleep, anxiety, and deep shame. I did my best to function, but I never received a full mental health evaluation. I was expected to cope and move on without understanding what was happening to me. It was not until I completed a Military History Psychosocial Assessment (MH-PSA) with Mike Coonan that my full history was carefully reviewed and my military sexual trauma and PTSD were clearly documented. I had never been seen by a VA psychiatrist, and no one had fully assessed the impact of the trauma I experienced while in service. That evaluation did not change what happened to me; it finally made sense of it. Mike referred me to a VA psychiatrist, and the VA awarded me an 80% service-connected disability rating for PTSD and additional conditions. Other disability decisions are pending.  What has helped me survive is faith, persistence, and finally being heard. Naming what happened matters. Being believed matters. Proper evaluation and treatment matter. I did not imagine this. I did not cause this. And I am still here. My story is not just about trauma; it is about service, leadership under threat, and the long struggle to have those experiences recognized and treated with dignity. I am a member of the group, We Are On Point 4 Veterans, and the Women’s Caucus.

Mental Health/ Military History Psychosocial Assessment was written by Mike Coonan, LMSW, ACSW, BCD. 

His treating VA psychiatrist provided the Expert Medical Opinion. 

Both were prepared and completed at no cost to the veteran.

Both made a significant impact on his VA Disability Compensation Evaluation and Decision.